Inglis, himself an introvert, went on to say, “If you at their first encounter embrace [introverts], celebrate them…you will get their best efforts forever.”
Books are an introvert’s best friend. In fact, it’s thanks to books that I discovered why I am the way I am. Specifically, Dr. Marti Olsen Laney’s The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World, I can honestly say this book changed my life.
I continue to discover books that further educate me about my temperament, which I will post here. I really love to get book recommendations, so please leave any suggestions in the comments below. If they meet my rigorous standards (I don’t fall asleep), I will add them to the official Introvert’s Dilemma Reading List.
The Introvert Advantage
This was the book that started it all for me. Dr. Laney writes as if she’s speaking right to me. After the one-and-a-half page Prelude, I already wrote how relived it made me feel. Read this.
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking
Quiet is causing quite a stir in the media right now, as author Susan Cain writes about the cultural bias towards extroverts. I’m reading this right now; it will no doubt be required reading for Psychology 101 classes and anyone interested in the social sciences.
Card showed up on my radar today, because he talked about being an introvert. His column is a bit odd, as it bounces from movie reviews, to Card’s late-night channel surfing story about cheetahs, and finally to peoples’ misperceptions of introverts. When I saw the column’s running title, Uncle Orson Reviews Everything, I guess his unconnected topics made more sense.
Once you get through 2/3 of the column, Card opens up about how he and his wife have managed to understand and accommodate one another’s temperaments and turned them into complements.
Here’s a selected passage:
These value-laden words are usually nothing more than descriptions of extroverted personalities – people who, by their inborn nature, are drawn to constantly seek to make friendly contact with everyone. It energizes them to be in a crowd; they hardly feel alive when they’re alone.
The trouble is, an awful lot of us aren’t like that at all; even if we have learned to act outgoing and friendly, it exhausts us to be with any more than a couple of deeply trusted friends.
Introverts treasure their solitude, and shy introverts feel no need to extract friendliness from strangers, and so don’t show any.
Here’s a quick quiz from The Introvert Advantage (Laney). Look over the qualities in sections A and B, and determine if the statement describes you the majority of the time. Answer how you are, not what you’d like to be. Go with your first impression!
Like to be in the thick of things
Relish variety, bored with sameness
Know lots of people, consider them friends
Enjoy chitchatting, even with strangers
Feel stoked after activity, eager for more
Speak or act without needing to think first
Are generally quite peppy
Tend to talk more than listen
Prefer to relax alone or with a few close friends
Consider only deep relationships as friends
Need rest after outside activities, even ones you enjoy
Often listen but talk a lot about topics of importance to you
Appear calm, self-contained, and like to observe
Tend to think before you speak or act
Experience mind going blank in groups or under pressure
Don’t like feeling rushed
Which of these qualities describe you the best? Obviously, if it’s mostly A, you’re an extrovert. B, an introvert. You might not have all of the qualities in one list or another, and that’s ok. If your temperament is still unclear, consider taking a longer assessment. I’ll post more self-assessment quizzes as I come across them.
“Maybe it’s the introvert in me,” Justice Clarence Thomas quipped last week, “[but] I think that when somebody’s talking, somebody ought to listen.” Thomas was referring to his fellow justices constant interruptions of the attorneys arguing the health care law currently before the Court.
Read more as reported by the Associated Press.