My wife is my opposite. She’s an extrovert through and through. Sure, she has her introvert moments (and blames it on me), but she gets stir crazy if she stays in the house for too long.
We’ve been married for almost two years, and together for about three. I often hear that the first year of marriage is one of the hardest, but it wasn’t for us. On our first date (we were just friends, but we’ve retroactively claimed this as our first date), I shared with her about a book I had recently discovered about introversion: The Introvert Advantage. (Click on the link and buy it through Amazon, I get a commission!)
Since we were not really in a date-date situation, I wasn’t really putting up a facade, trying to be something I’m not. I shared with her why I am the way I am. We have a shared group of friends, which is how we met. I provided her insight as to why I didn’t show up every single week for get-togethers. She had no idea what an introvert was — I mean, she was familiar with the word obviously, but didn’t really categorize her friends into either the introvert or extrovert camp.
This was a defining moment in our at-the-time-not-yet-dating relationship, and a big reason why our first year of marriage wasn’t rocky. See, we understood each other’s temperaments and were able to provide each other some give and take when it came to how our relationship related to the outside world.She understood that being out with a group of people took a lot out of me; I understood that the same scenario energized her. So we compromised: sometimes we went out and I did my best to adapt, other times we stayed in with no excuse other than we just wanted to have a night in.
You see, if we didn’t understand each other’s temperaments, the moment we started living together would have been the beginning of friction. Sure, we still get frustrated with each other over our differences, but if we were both the same we’d only need one of us.