Caitlin Flynn wrote a piece over at bustle.com about her struggle to be “hyper-social” when she first moved to New York City after college. She’s since figured out that trying to be someone she’s not isn’t a healthy way to live her life.
It makes me wonder if we had learned about our intro/extro-version when we were younger how it may have affected our social lives through high school and college. Like many of you, I didn’t self-identify as an introvert until I was 29 years old. Oh, how much anxiety I could have avoided had I understood my temperament earlier in life!
Whatever your political persuasion come November 2016 (are we really going to be talking about this for another year and a half?), it may likely come down to a choice between two introverts. Introverts who are standing in the shadows of their extrovert dynasties: Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush.
Most Americans don’t know too much about Jeb other than he’s the brother of George W. and the former governor of Florida. And Hillary? She is more known for her steely exterior and no-nonsense-ness as opposed to her husband, whose legacy could have been forever tarnished by scandal(s), but has emerged as a gregarious philanthropist vegan (now vegetarian). But get ready folks, these two introverts, Hillary and Jeb, are about to make aloofness, awkwardness, and reservedness a candidacy requirement.
Jeb is unabashed of his introversion. He freely admits to being one. He would rather read a book than glad hand his financial supporters. He has been known to actually read legislation. The nerve. Hillary, on the other hand, had to suppress her introversion to emerge from her husband’s shadow. Often referred to as the “the most famous person nobody knows,” she even had a video made about her during her 2000 Senate campaign showing her softer side. We learned she can make a “mean tossed salad and a great omelet.” Have we otherwise ever really seen her deviate from her seriousness? The Texts from Hillary meme worked because of her temperament — could you envision a “Texts from Couric” catching on? Me neither.
But with these two introverts, we’re offered something that many politicians cannot: substance over style.
I just bought CHARGE UP: Build a Business and Manage Your Energy with Your Introversion Superpowers, by Claire Deane and Allie Lehman. Can’t wait to read it!
It’s inspiring that fellow introverts are writing books and showing the world that we will not be kept quiet.
My wife is my opposite. She’s an extrovert through and through. Sure, she has her introvert moments (and blames it on me), but she gets stir crazy if she stays in the house for too long.
We’ve been married for almost two years, and together for about three. I often hear that the first year of marriage is one of the hardest, but it wasn’t for us. On our first date (we were just friends, but we’ve retroactively claimed this as our first date), I shared with her about a book I had recently discovered about introversion: The Introvert Advantage. (Click on the link and buy it through Amazon, I get a commission!)
Since we were not really in a date-date situation, I wasn’t really putting up a facade, trying to be something I’m not. I shared with her why I am the way I am. We have a shared group of friends, which is how we met. I provided her insight as to why I didn’t show up every single week for get-togethers. She had no idea what an introvert was — I mean, she was familiar with the word obviously, but didn’t really categorize her friends into either the introvert or extrovert camp.
This was a defining moment in our at-the-time-not-yet-dating relationship, and a big reason why our first year of marriage wasn’t rocky. See, we understood each other’s temperaments and were able to provide each other some give and take when it came to how our relationship related to the outside world.She understood that being out with a group of people took a lot out of me; I understood that the same scenario energized her. So we compromised: sometimes we went out and I did my best to adapt, other times we stayed in with no excuse other than we just wanted to have a night in.
You see, if we didn’t understand each other’s temperaments, the moment we started living together would have been the beginning of friction. Sure, we still get frustrated with each other over our differences, but if we were both the same we’d only need one of us.